Monthly Archives: October 2009

Cancer Sucks (and other expletives I don’t need to mention)

Wow, I apologize for disappearing again from blog land. Unfortunately, after Molé finished her case of the green goo, I too began to dance with this dreaded disease. Let’s just say I felt like, well, CRAP. Enter a little pill I like to call Azithromycin (okay, maybe not just me that likes to call it that) and 48 hours later…voilá. It is amazing to feel well again. I think I had been battling this bug for about two weeks, but hadn’t realized how awful I was feeling until I felt well again.

All of this has made me truly grateful. Grateful that I have access to medicine that takes the pain away, grateful that when my child was sick there was a cure, and grateful that we only had to give up two weeks of our lives to this illness. We have an old friend who is living with the reality that his two year old son has terminal leukemia. Can you even imagine what that would be like? And I was complaining about being cooped up in the house for a couple of days and missing a few activities. They have spent over 15 months battling, fighting so hard for him to be healthy, missing holidays, and all of the other basic things that we often take for granted only to be told that he is still sick. That there is no cure. Where is their magical Azithromycin? Cancer sucks. Really, it just sucks. I hate it. Despise it. Loathe it. Detest it.

Next time these raggedy old bodies of ours require a prescription that I can pick up at the store, take at home, and feel relief from I am going to be grateful. There are many who suffer in ways I can only imagine and to them I offer my deepest admiration. Above all I am grateful to know a God who in the end makes all things new, who takes away the suffering and the pain of this life, and restores all that is broken. Because of Him alone I do not lose heart and can see that beyond the despair of a world in which cures are elusive there is a Healer who will one day make it all right. And I really hope that when He does, he gives cancer one mighty kick in the ass.


A Case of the Green Goo

Poor little Molé. She has had an ear infection for about two weeks that has come and gone (as in ear drainage) and come back again. The girls were just a wreck this week between ears, and pink eyes, fevers and gooey noses. We did make it to the doctor yesterday and I am so grateful. Turns out BQ’s issues have resolved and she is good to go, phew, but sweet Molé was in dire need of some good old fashioned antibiotics. It’s her first time to get them. But, turns out she has a weird bacterial ear infection that requires Augmentin rather than the beautiful and tasty pink stuff, aka Amoxicillin. Unfortunately for all involved, the Aug does not share the same qualities of flavor as its antibiotic sister. And so, the ten day battle has begun. That’s right, two times a day for ten days. I tasted the stuff myself and it is hideous. Kind of a mixture of paint, sour milk, chalk, and sand. Not really exaggerating. I have tried mixing it with chocolate syrup, which was sort of successful. But, after three failed attempts this morning with applesauce and syrup, I was forced to resort to the “pin down and shove” technique. Not cool. Alas, the dose has been ingested and after 24 hours of the meds she does seem to be turning the corner. Sweet babe. How grateful I am that this is only an ear infection, one that’s treatable and short lived. There are so many parents out there with chronically sick children- I can only imagine. Here’s hoping the goo days are behind us and we can stop by tissues by the ton.

Two for Two

That’s right, The Doc (husband’s new nickname on here, what do you think?) brought me in some dark, luscious coffee, I read, prayed, and even went to the bathroom before the ladies woke up. Fabulous.

In other “two for two” news, we also have two girls with pink eye and two girls with fever. And, I am out of both Tylenol and Motrin. Lovely. A quick trick to the drugstore should solve all of our medicinal needs, so do not fear. I just hope these sweet babies fell better soon. We miss our friends!

Hard Work (or Wake) Does Pay Off!

Let me just say that I am not a morning person. While I will admit I tend to be on the more chipper side of the bunch even when awake early, it is not something that I enjoy. I love sleep. Before I had kids I was a really, really great sleeper. On the weekends, I perfected the art of sleeping in and during the work week I would find that optimal wake-up time that would ensure enough time to get dressed and shower before work while maximizing my sleep down to the minute. Why did I used to complain about waking up at 7:45? Why was that??!!

Now that our girls are a little older and somewhat more predictable, we have successfully set a “wake up” time. Molé obviously doesn’t get it yet, but for BQ it’s great and since they share a room it works for both of them. The girls are not allowed out of their room until 7 a.m. so even if they wake up earlier, the yelling, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…” cannot begin until that beautiful number shows up on the clock. If the yelling does begin earlier, they have learned that this “mommy person” is a no show (don’t worry I can tell if there is a really something going on that needs me and I do respond to that). It has truly been miraculous. I know that some of my friends have purchased clocks that use color to show a child when they can wake up- all ingenious. Regardless, if you have a child who is old enough to get the concept of colors or numbers you should give it a try. It has given me such freedom to know that I have until 7 in the morning. This isn’t to say that there aren’t days my kids are sick or just plain old whiny by 6:30, I’m no miracle worker. But, this schedule has given me the freedom to better plan my own mornings. I have a husband who leaves for work when it is dark out, so I don’t have an extra set of hands around in the a.m. to help me get in a shower, cup of coffee, or quiet time to read or pray before beginning the day. As a result, I have not done a very good job of dragging myself out of bed early to prepare for the day and it has really taken its toll on my body and spirit.

It’s funny how often I think that physical sleep alone will bring me the most rest. Sleep is crucial and we definitely cannot function (well) without an adequate amount. Being a parent lack of sleep just comes with the territory at various stages of life with our kids. That’s a given. What’s crucial is that we make sure we refuel our entire self- mind, body and spirit. I thought I was doing that with my extra half hour of sleep, but in reality I was draining myself even more. So, I have decided that it is time to stop making excuses. I am going to get up early in the morning, because I need the rest.

This morning was the first time I had success. I asked my husband if he would bring me a cup of coffee when he comes to give me a kiss goodbye. That way I can sit in bed for a couple of minutes, take some sips, and still have that “wake up slowly” feeling. I also have a wonderful book and my Bible sitting right there, so I don’t technically have to go anywhere. A first step. The day began without me feeling behind. I had already invited God to enter into our day, which for me is crucial. As I talked about on a previous blog post, God is real to me and life without Him is just a series of me fumbling, wandering, and losing my mind. Knowing that before it’s gotten even a bit chaotic I have spent time in prayer fills me with unspeakable peace. I know that for many of you who read this blog a day without prayer and connection with God is a day of chaos too. I’d love to hear your strategies for fitting in prayer and quiet time while mothering small children!

All this to say, it’s pretty obvious that in life when we make hard choices and do the things that are difficult, it pays off. Putting in the hard work is definitely worth it 99% of the time. With the help of coffee, a very kind husband, and God himself I am going to make this happen. Frankly, I’m way too tired to sleep. I’m choosing rest, real rest instead.

That’s all from me, but I wanted to share something I read this morning. It’s from a translation of the Bible called The Message and is a passage where Jesus is talking to his followers about rest. This is what I am craving- why settle for anything less?

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:27

And I’m Back

Hey, sorry I have been so absent lately. My sweet mom was here for a week so I utilized each free moment to either nap or have some freedom! Moms are the best. I am still trying to convince her to move in with me, but so far she is not on board with the idea. Maybe a cash bribe?

I also turned the big 3-1 on Friday which, to be honest, is sort of crazy to me. I turned to my hubby last night and uttered the phrase, “31, seriously? When did that happen!!?” It isn’t that I am opposed to being “in my thirties” so to speak, it’s more that I am not sure where I was when the last ten or so years happened. To think that my 21st birthday was ten years ago, college graduation almost ten years ago, my wedding almost ten years ago and that the next decade I will hit will be 40 is, um, crazy. I sort of feel like someone accidentally hit the fast forward button on my life. I am excited about all of the different stages of life and think that the aging process is nothing to fear. What I fear is that I am keeping myself so busy with life that I am forgetting to live.

Our girls have birthdays in February and this year BQ will hit 4 and Molé 2. Spending time with my mom this past week I realized just how short the years that we have our children in our home are! There are so many days where all I can think about is them being self sufficient and me getting to have my “life” back. What a waste! My life is now, their time is now, and I want to soak it all in! Part of why I have chosen to be at home with them is so that I am able to savor these days and years before they head to school and the years really begin to fly. So why am I choosing housework over playtime and the computer over story time with these precious girls? I don’t want to hit 41 and look at my TEENAGERS (gulp) and wonder where ten years went. I want to be able to look back at years full of memories and moments.

So that is what I am learning this year. I am not a teenager and I’m not even a “young adult” anymore. As much as that sort of sucks, it’s also wonderful. I am a woman, a wife, a mother, and always and forever a daughter. 31 is today, so I’m not going to obsess about 25 or worry about 75. I want 31 to be a year to remember.

Little or Big?

I keep waiting for BQ to start noticing the differences between people. Whether it’s size, shape, skin tone, hair length, etc., she has so far seemed oblivious. Since she is the type who never misses anything, well at least when it’s some poor choice I’m making, this has always been surprising.

Well yesterday, as we were driving home from the store, my mom started to ask BQ about preschool. It went a little something like this:

Nana: “So BQ, what are the names of your teachers?”
BQ: “Jasmine and Karen. Those are the frog teachers.”

Nana: “Your class is the frog class, and then there is the bear class, right?
BQ: “Yes. I’m in the frog class. Mommy, who are the teachers in the bear class?

Mommy: “Don’t you remember, sweetie?”
BQ: “Um, Geri. And…what’s the other one’s name?”
Mommy: “Annemarie.”

BQ: (mumbles something from the backseat) “…little…?”
Mommy: “What was that honey?”
BQ: (same mumbling) “Geri… she…little…?”

So then I am trying to replay this in my head and it finally hits me as to what she is asking.

Mommy: “BQ, are you asking if Geri is the one with the little bunsies?”
BQ: “Yes. Who has the big bunsies and who has the little bunsies, Geri or Annemarie?
Mommy: “Um (trying so hard not to erupt in giggles) yes, BQ, Geri has littler bunsies than Annemarie”
BQ: “Okay.”

Um yes, evidently we will all now be judged and compared by the size of our bunsies. Scary thought, huh. Though butt size was not what I had imagined to be BQ’s first item of comparison, it seems to be what makes sense in her world. I’m just grateful this first round of compare and contrast happened in a rather private way, where no one needed to feel self conscious about the size of her posterior.

What random things like this have your kids said? I’d love to hear!

A Walk in the Park

Is it just me or do your kids hate riding in a car seat with coats or poofy sweatshirts on as much as mine? How I dread the arrival of the cold weather, well for lots of reasons, because it means I will have to listen to whining and desperate squirming sounds in the backseat. I get the fact that with that many layers, tags, seams, and what not things could go terribly wrong. The oh so sensitive skin of a small child is just begging to be bothered by this type of apparel. It makes the simple task of going somewhere such a chore.

Tonight, my sweet hubby got home from work early, so we decided we should do something. We opted to walk to a local pizza place, even though it was raining. Luckily, on the way there it wasn’t bad so we didn’t have to eat in soggy clothes. The girls even sat in the stroller without fussing the entire 15 minute walk. We also remembered to call ahead to get the pizza started so when we arrived it was ready and we didn’t have to wait. Everyone ate well and then we strolled home in the spitty rain. It was a blast. And seriously, even if it’s a frozen tundra out there, I am definitely going to be skipping the car this winter. I’ve been too chicken to venture out without the warm bubble of my car and its heater. But hey, this is our third and final winter here so maybe it’s time. I’ll let you know how it goes. If I can avoid ten to fifteen minutes of what could be classified as the most annoying sound in the world, I’m gonna do it.

A Blog With a View

As I reflect on the past two days, that have for some reason seemed completely unpalatable to this normally voracious mother, I am left with nothing of a profound nature to share. So I’m gonna go with random blurts/splats/thoughts/ramblings and the like. You’ve been warned.

When nap time ends at 2 pm, an afternoon is really, really long.

Celebrating one child’s completion of a reward chart with the purchase of a new toy can create almost as much joy as grief, leading to an afternoon of hearing the phrase “She TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK it” and “Mine, mine, mine” shrieked throughout the house.

When every spare moment of a day is spent cleaning the same mess over and over, one starts to get a little cooky.

Parks with friends are good.

Coffee, strong and in large quantities, is good.

Sometimes when you think it might be okay to go into the next room since everyone is playing so “nicely” you are most likely very, very wrong.

Kids that are not picky eaters are a blessing.

Target is less fun without double shopping carts and a broken popcorn machine.

Pumpkin spice frapuccino light is in fact a rip-off. And yet, it is so good.

Crunchy apples make everyone happy. So do juice boxes.

Sometimes the indoor slide isn’t such a good idea.

I have a deep love/hate relationship now with Legos.

Mindless, brainless, “eye candy” t.v. is often the cure for a bad day.

When husbands get home…ahh.

The new recipe for tabouleh that I snagged from Cooking Light, um, rocks- you should make it now. Yes, now.

No one’s experience is the same and therefore comparisons are worthless and actually very destructive and hurtful at times.

Two little girls with pony tails is really cute.

Fall is fantastic.

“Don’t drink the water” can apply to many, many situations when you live with a 19 month old.

When you’re at Target and your child says her “bunsies” are itchy and proceeds to go in for a closer scratch, be prepared for embarrassment.

I cannot believe I am moving in 8 months!

Tub crayons have been sitting in my closet for a year and a half and we used them for the first time tonight. Why was that?

I sometimes wonder if it is actually possible for me to produce little girls who are not independent.

I love to look at my babies when they are sleeping.

Speaking of sleeping, my sweet tired husband is about to do just that and I think I should join him. What are you random thoughts of the day? I’d love to hear.

I Have Just Been Informed

That it is in fact snowing inside our home. Luckily BQ has suited up with some sassy pink slippers on her feet, and her little sister’s bear slippers on her hands. Take that, super fake make pretend snow. She says “bring it” and builds a snow man out of thin air.

Ever wonder when your imagination grew so lame and unexciting. To be 3 again.

Oh, better go help fix a “mitten,” that holds a beautiful icicle (string of gold beads).