That I love being a mom? I tend to be a bit on the negative side here, but after some wonderful days with my girls had to express that to the depths of my core, I love being a mom. And I love my life.
I met an old friend’s girlfriend a week ago and was asked the question, “So are you at home full time with them?” I explained that even though there are days when I think I might lose my mind, I wouldn’t have it any other way. She seemed completely confused. I’m not totally sure what was lost in translation, other than the fact that for many in this day and age the thought of spending one’s time with small children seems, well, nauseating? It makes me wonder what happened that made the idea of caring for children so dreadful.
Let’s face it, we live in an extremely individualistic society. As much as we would like to think that we as human beings are all about the “greater good,” time and time again we prove that we simply are not. We are self centered, self absorbed, and out for our own gain. For those of us who are parents, we know that it is a wake up call in this area. We are no longer free to do what we want, when we want. If we continue to do so, it is our children who ultimately pay the price. There are so many children today who are simply ignored. Their parents choose not to make them a priority because, well, it’s hard and they would rather be doing something else. They are too accustomed to a world that revolves around their own needs that they cannot make the adjustment.
All this to say, I get it. It’s hard. I am just like the rest of the world, and am confronted with my selfishness on an hourly, if not minute by minute basis. Do I get to use the bathroom by myself anymore? Not so much. Use the computer in peace? No (as we speak there is a 13 month old at my feet saying “duh duh” which means “done.” and now there is a 3 year old climbing on my lap). There are days I want to tear out my hair, and run away because I just want some time to myself. To think only of myself and to worry about my needs alone. But let’s face it, I can’t. And, that is very okay.
I am a mom, and as much as that comes with a lot of baggage, it definitely comes with a million times as many wonderful things. Besides the obvious of getting to know and nurture these little people, I find that I am doing a great amount of growing and that they are nurturing me along the way. Having children has made me face this issue of selfishness- I have no choice but to deal with it. It has caused me to reflect on how I live, where I focus my energy and what I want our family to be about. I still miss going to get coffee alone, but I am grateful for the opportunity to learn.
The next time someone asks me “what do you do?” I am going to feel like I always do- a bit shy, not sure of what they think of me, and annoyed with their reaction at the same time. BUT, I am also inwardly going to burst with thankfulness. My world is bigger and better because of my babies. I don’t think that everyone is made to have children or stay at home with them- I get that. But, for me it’s right and I would not choose another path. This, to me, is more important than anything else I could be doing. Even if I’m going crazy along the way.
I love being a mom.
(and I love to ramble)